December 4-5...timeline

8:30pm I am at home, in my pj's, when I get a phone call from Mwande asking me if I could come to her place. "Now?" I ask. "Yes yes. There is an overnight party and I want you to come". I agree, get ready, call my taxi and by 9:15 I am off.

(Sidenote: An "overnight party" is a tradition here for a bride-to-be. It's literally a party that goes through the whole night whereby a group of women gather, there is drumming and dancing, and the women teach the woman who is getting married how to tend to her home and please her husband. Each person brings small bills - if they can afford it - and when they enjoy the drumming or one of the dances they put the money in the bowl. All the money raised goes to the drummers)

9:30pm I arrive, Mwande meets me at a school in her compound, and we make our way to the party. At first we wait and then the drumming begins. It was at someone's home and thus I was wondering why the drummers were outside and then Mwande explained to me that that is where they start from. They must start outside and then get invited into the home once they impress the people with their skills.

10:30pm The drummers have been invited in and the women are mingling before things get started.

11:00pm We eat. Unfortunately for me I have already eaten and am quite full but this is no excuse of course. I must eat again. There is nshima, chicken, and cabbage. Thankfully it was communal eating from large plates so no one could really tell how much I was eating.

11:45pm The drumming and dancing begins. There are two women (one of them being Mwande's older sister) and they sound amazing together. The drinking also begins.

Midnight The bride enters the room with her matron by her side. The bride has her head down and she does not smile (this is a traditional way of showing respect). Each dance everyone sings along to, teaching the bride another lesson about married life. Mwande translated and they were quite interesting, however most are not appropriate to share on a public blog (email me to find out more details).

2:00am After 2 hours of all the women trying to get me to go up and dance, I finally worked up the nerve to do so. I was sweating and trembling with embarrassment. Mwande had taught me one of the dances a couple weeks before so I somewhat knew what I was doing, as much as a white person could, trying to do Zambian dance moves without looking like a complete fool. I think it went alright, with women laughing and yelling (much like at the kitchen party some time ago) in the background, partially I am sure at me and the rest with me.

3:00am An yelling argument breaks out. Apparently one of the women (who was quite outspoken to begin with) was upset that others were dancing when she was wanting to dance alone and she was saying that it should only be one at a time. Others did not agree with this. I am sure the alcohol partially induced this behaviour. Mwande started to sing, trying to calm people down while not getting involved. Unfortunately it didn't work so we left the room and went outside for some air. I should have just gotten up and started dancing, I am sure this would have quieted them right up!

4:00am The party dies down. I fall asleep on the floor.

4:04am I am awoken by the drums. For a few brief moments the drummers were taking a break but then they started back up, even though the dancing had ended.

5:00am Mwande and I leave, go back to her house and she gets ready for us to go to work.

5:50am We start walking to work. We are exhausted but walk nonetheless.

7:10am We arrive at work and everyone can tell we are lacking sleep.

1:15pm Fridays are half days so we "knock off" (go home) early.

8:15pm I am sound asleep.